MELBOURNE — The scorecard will forever read a two-day finish. The record books will show England’s victory by an innings and 14 runs. The purists will lament the brevity. But to ask, as Russell Crowe’s Maximus did in the Colosseum, “Are you not entertained?” after the chaos of the Boxing Day Test is to miss the point entirely.
This was not a poor advertisement for Test cricket; it was a breathtaking, nerve-shredding, and utterly compelling argument for its very essence. Over six sessions at the MCG, we witnessed a microcosm of everything that makes the long-form game unique: supreme skill, dramatic collapses, tactical intrigue, and a result forged not by a placid pitch but by the relentless pressure of high-quality bowling. England’s win, sealed before tea on day two, was no less of a Test match. It was, in fact, a classic in concentrated form.
The Stage: A Boxing Day Bonanza Turns Brutal
The anticipation for the traditional Boxing Day Test at the Melbourne Cricket Ground is always immense. A crowd of over 40,000, hopeful of a five-day spectacle, filed in under grey skies. What they witnessed was a masterclass in seam and swing bowling from an English attack that found its voice. Australia, batting first on a green-tinged surface offering consistent movement, were dismantled for 267. It was a respectable total built on the back of a fighting 76 from Alex Carey, but it felt below par. Little did we know it would prove more than enough.
England’s reply was nothing short of a hurricane. Zak Crawley’s aggressive 48 set a tone of calculated intent, but it was the middle-order blitz from Harry Brook (89 from 81 balls) and Ben Stokes (57 from 54) that seized the game by the scruff of the neck. Their partnership of 121 in just over 20 overs didn’t just erase the deficit; it psychologically shattered the Australian bowling attack. England racked up 325 at a run-rate of 4.73, a staggering tempo for a Test match, securing a vital 58-run lead.
The Collapse: A Session of Unrelenting Pressure
Day two dawned with the match perfectly poised. Australia needed a solid start to set up a game. What followed was one of the most dramatic sessions in recent Ashes history. Under heavy cloud cover, the English seamers, led superbly by the veteran James Anderson and the relentless Ollie Robinson, produced a spell of bowling of the highest class.
- Relentless Accuracy: Every ball seemed to ask a question. The line was impeccable, just around off-stump.
- Subtle Movement: Both in the air and off the seam, the ball deviated just enough to find edges.
- Catching Clinic: England’s slip cordon, so maligned at times, held every chance.
Australia’s top order was eviscerated. They lost 4 wickets for 7 runs in a catastrophic 36-ball spell. From 65-2, they slumped to 72-6. The MCG crowd fell into a stunned silence, broken only by the roar of the travelling Barmy Army. Captain Pat Cummins fought valiantly with 28, but the innings was skittled for 155 before lunch. The damage was terminal.
The Verdict: Skill, Not the Surface
Inevitably, the two-day finish led to scrutiny of the pitch. But to blame the surface is to do a disservice to the bowlers. This was not a dangerous, uneven minefield; it was a sporting pitch that rewarded skill. As England’s first-innings total proved, runs were there for the taking with positive intent and sound technique. The difference was the bowling. England’s attack executed their plans flawlessly, while Australia’s, save for a spirited Mitchell Starc, erred in length and line under pressure.
England captain Ben Stokes, in his post-match remarks, cut through the noise. “I don’t think the pitch was the culprit,” he stated. “It was a classic case of the ball dominating the bat, but only because both bowling attacks put it in the right areas for long periods. That’s Test cricket. It’s not meant to be easy.” His Australian counterpart, Pat Cummins, agreed, albeit ruefully: “We were just outplayed. They bowled exceptionally well and we had a very poor session with the bat. That’s the game.”
A Testament to Test Cricket’s Unpredictability
This truncated Test was a powerful reminder of the format’s glorious unpredictability. In an era of packed schedules and franchise leagues, it delivered a pure, unadulterated contest between bat and ball that was decided on skill and nerve. It had more twists, turns, and moments of high quality in six sessions than some matches muster in five days. The intensity was unrelenting; there was no time for a stalemate, no session to coast. Every ball carried weight.
For England, it was a monumental victory, levelling the series 1-1 and proving their aggressive ‘Bazball’ philosophy could thrive under the most pressurised Ashes conditions. For the neutral, it was a riveting spectacle. The crowd, though robbed of three days of play, witnessed a historic and utterly absorbing contest. As Stokes led his team in a celebratory huddle on the hallowed MCG turf, the message was clear: the duration does not define the drama.
Conclusion: A Compact Classic
So, was it a ‘proper’ Test? Unequivocally, yes. The Boxing Day clash of 2023 will be remembered not for its brevity, but for its brilliance. It was a match that showcased the pinnacle of fast bowling, the importance of bold batting, and the razor-thin margins that separate triumph from collapse. It asked every player a relentless series of questions and provided definitive answers. In condensing all the tension, skill, and narrative of a five-day epic into a blistering 48 hours, it didn’t diminish Test cricket. It distilled it into its most potent form. The entertainment was never in doubt.